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Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce, by Susan L. Blumberg
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Review
"The authors provide an encyclopedia-like wealth of information, from escaping destructive patterns to controlling conflict to playing together." (Library Journal, May 15, 2010)
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From the Back Cover
Since 1994, the best-selling classic Fighting for Your Marriage has been the go-to reference for couples that want to enhance their marriage and prevent divorce. This thoroughly revised and updated third edition (which contains a new instructional DVD for couples) is based on the widely acclaimed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) approach. Groundbreaking studies have found that couples who use the strategies of this proven approach are able to handle conflict more constructively, protect their happiness, and reduce the odds of breaking up. The authors have included a wealth of proven, research-based techniques and down-to-earth guidance for all couples who seek to promote greater character and pleasure in their long-term relationships. Praise for Fighting for Your Marriage "A divorce prevention society should be formed to place a copy of this book in every hotel room in this country. Every wife or husband struggling to stay married, especially happily married, should read this book." —Maggie Gallagher, coauthor, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially "I love this book! If you want to be happily, successfully married, buy it, master it, and it's all you'll ever need. While you're at it, buy a copy for every couple you love. You won't need one for your kids, they'll learn by watching you." —Diane Sollee, founder and director, Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education
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Product details
Paperback: 464 pages
Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 3 edition (April 26, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0470485914
ISBN-13: 978-0470485910
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1.2 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
95 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#7,550 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The authors have decades of counseling experience and are the founders of the renowned PREP program: Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. The PREP program is one of the most thoroughly researched marital studies ever. It is based upon five principles:1. Decide, don't slide. Make the effort to make decisions together.2. Do your part. Do positive things for your spouse. Be responsible for your own personal growth and mental and physical health.3. Make it safe to connect. Understand your differences and handle conflict constructively.4. Open the doors to positive connections. Cultivating fun, friendship, support, spirituality, and sensual connections.5. Nurture your commitment.WHAT READERS CAN LEARN FROM THIS BOOK1. Four destructive patterns: Escalation, Invalidation, Withdrawal and avoidance, Negative interpretations.2. What to do when one spouse withdraws.3. What to do when one spouse is depressed.4. Cultivating good communication habits: Paying attention. Acknowledging your spouse's emotional state. Identifying what we are thinking while our spouse is talking. Recognizing different styles of communication. Identifying our self-protective behavior.5. Using the Speaker-Listener technique to avoid fighting while talking.6. Managing one's negative emotions (anger, sadness, hostility) when they are triggered by events.7. Handling deeper themes in marriage: Control and power. Feeling loved and cared for by your spouse. Recognition for your accomplishments. Your commitment to stay married. The integrity of your spouse's motives, values, and standards. The desire to be accepted by your spouse.
This book has very good information for any couple wishing to restore or strengthen their marriage. It is information that is based on research rather than the opinion of an "expert". Most couples struggle with communication and the speaker-listener technique is great. My wife and I began using it over 15 years ago, and it has allowed up to learn how to discuss touchy issues in a way that strengthen our relationship.
If you’re in any relationship, this book is for you! Like all relationships, marriage is complex, sometimes volatile, and often grounded in our emotions. Further, the very seeds of divorce are planted prior to marriage. Psychologists from the University of Denver have worked together to develop a research-based program to help marriages (and any relationships) survive and even thrive. Fundamental to their program is an understanding of the 5 keys and the 4 destructive patterns of relationships. The 5 keys: Decide, don’t slide; Do your part; Make it safe to connect; Open the doors to positive relationships; and, Nurture your commitment. The 4 destructive patterns that threaten relationships: Escalation; Invalidation; Negative Interpretations; and, Withdrawal and Avoidance. Finally, the authors offer the reader a solid technique to avoid destructive patterns and preserve the relationship: The Speaker-Listener technique.
Helped my husband and I through our roughest rough patch to date. Really recommend reading it together, as reading it alone wouldn't be nearly as beneficial.
The only problem with this book is that I do not seem to be able to hang onto it. :-) I keep buying them and giving them to married couples or to engaged couples. I have led a couple's ministry in my church and therefore have read tons of relationship books. This is the best I have read. This particular copy I bought for my engaged daughter and future son in law. I think it is a must read for any couple.
Unbelievably relevant. These authors have taken years of clinical research and synthesized their findings into useful, practical, and poignant information which can be put into practice to help marriages. The first few chapters dealing with damage done in marriage were eye-opening and convicting. But the remaining chapters built hope.
This is one of the best marriage help books we have come across. It's a great tool for better communication and I highly recommend this book for all couples and I even want my children to read this before they get into a relationship. We began seeing positive change in our marriage after the first couple of chapters. We give this book to our friends and think it is awesome!
This book has some very good advice for people whose marriage is suffering as mine was. Excellent pointers created by a team of researchers who cite their evidence and support their claims that this DOES work. If you are In need of help this book will definitely help!
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